Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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