what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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