I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I supernannyed him into submission
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
