I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
