Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She is in my trunk
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize