OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize