Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize