She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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