so explain again why im purple
no
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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