i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
