It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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