Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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