Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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