Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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