You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
