my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
