I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
