Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
