I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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