my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
