My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
