a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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