i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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