i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
