47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
