I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
