Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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