Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
