a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
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I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
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Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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