I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize