Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize