I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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