I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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