I puked a lego.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
