dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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