There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!