And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.