you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
