Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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