I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
