My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
