i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
