Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
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after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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