cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
