I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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