I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
