it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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