WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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