They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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