I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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