he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He has the fingertips of a God
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
