you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
