ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
