What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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