Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
